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9RARBrat |
The Question
Jun 14 2008, 9:28 AM EDT
I have a question. why do i get get funny looks from people when i tell them that my dad was a Viet Nam veteran? does anybody else have this problem? is the society we live in today still as stupid as they were when my dad came back and threw stuff at him when he marched through Adelaide on his return? have they forgotten how they stopped the supplies cause of the protests on the docks? Has Australia forgotten? and what about this next generation of soldiers coming back are they going to get forgotten about too? give me your thoughts people. this is one topic that i think we all want answers too Samara 4 out of 4 found this valuable. Do you? |
Combat_Ken |
1. RE: The Question
Aug 4 2008, 11:07 PM EDT
Yeah... me.Samara, this is why I am doing this study - because most people are bloody ignorant of us. We aren't all screwed up. And our 'screwed up' is just a misunderstood 'gifted' in another way. If people would just listen to our stories we could begin to improve not just our lives, but the very fabric of Aussie society....sounds incredible, but I am convinced of this. Don't let other people's ignorance make you any less proud of who you are. As a child of a Vietnam Vet I can bet you carry superior genes. I bet that, as this world is getting more hostile and threatening, we will not only survive, but endure and prosper, because, genetically, we are engineered to survive in stressful situations when others will collapse. Tap into your potential and look for the +ve qualities you have from your Father's experience in Vietnam. Yeah. Society sux. 3 out of 3 found this valuable. Do you? |
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9RARBrat |
2. RE: The Question
Aug 10 2008, 1:24 AM EDT
how can i help? where do you start. cause the world has to change and i want to do more than just survive.
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Combat_Ken |
3. RE: The Question
Aug 12 2008, 8:59 PM EDT
On a piece of paper write down a list of the things you are good at. Anything. Not just work related but hobbies and interests to. Look also at personal qualities, such as 'attention to detail' or 'determined never to give up' or 'great organiser of parties, etc'. These broad categories provide a deeper insite into your unique skills and qualities that put you on the rung above your peers. I realise that, for some, this suggestion may fly in the face of their personal beliefs, but it might be your saving grace, so give it a try....apply some military discipline to both your situation and yourself. Self discipline is central to survival, and, indeed success in this life.1 out of 1 found this valuable. Do you? |
Bajau |
4. RE: The Question
Aug 13 2008, 6:40 AM EDT
I worked at a RSL in Goodna back in the mid 90's and I watched one of the regulars walk up to a local politician and attempt to give them his medals. The polititian remarked loudly to all and sundry how much of a wonderful statement of confidence in them it was to be given these and that she felt proud to recieve them. The surrounding RSL members all looked extremely embarassed as one pointed out to the visiting politician that the man was making a protest about his treatment on returning from the Vietnam war. The man was a Englishman who had chosen to emigrate to Australia. He'd packed up his entire life and come here just in time for the outbreak of hostilities and chose to make his pact with Australia by joining its armed forces and standing up for what his new country believed in. On his return he was 'smuggled' into the country under cover of darkness and was spat on in the street when he chose to wear his adopted countries uniform and medals. The country he chose to embrace had rejected him despite his service and he never recovered from that rejection. As embarassed as it made the other RSL patrons I noticed he held his head up higher in the club from that night on.By the way. The politician was Pauline Hansen. B. 6 out of 6 found this valuable. Do you? |
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Combat_Ken |
5. RE: The Question
Aug 14 2008, 2:36 AM EDT
I would have loved to have been there....You should hear what they say about the Long Tan Medals. 2 out of 3 found this valuable. Do you? |
Mum4lilnfin |
6. RE: The Question
Nov 7 2008, 8:46 PM EST
Hey Samara,It's such a good question. For what its worth, after some thought, I figured I'd give you my view on why. I think a generation ago, no one would've blinked twice if you said your Dad was in the war. Now, for us "kids" and the adults and children following us, the Vietnam War is so totally removed from their consciousness. They might see pictures in books at school, watch the Anzac day marches. I think the major reason Vietnam has had such a cultural impact is, that noone talked about it afterwards. After the world wars and various conflicts, there was a cultural acceptance in hearing the oral history about personal experience. For the longest time Vietnam Vets have had no way to do this. They weren't welcomed back as heroes. And despite all the sorry's in the world, that stigma still exists. All that anger and frustration, loss of self esteem turned inward - either on themselves, and/ or us, their families. I think because we with it everyday in some ways, it becomes really obvious when people do do that double take. The best part about this study and the work that Ken and others have done, is reassure me, that I haven't completely lost the plot. Also to accept that my normal, our normal, is different from most. I've learned, and I'm still learning, to let go and not hang on to anger, frustration, and feelings of failure. Most of all, we are all in this together! Hang in there, cheers Danielle 3 out of 3 found this valuable. Do you? |
bimbyjo |
7. RE: The Question
Nov 9 2008, 5:23 AM EST
you get the funny looks too. i thought i was the only oneyou can actually see it in their eyes when you tell them that you are Vietnam Veterans kid, the, i don't know what you call it whether it is judgement, fear or whatever but you can see the look in their eyes as they are inching away from you. i think some people are just prejudice and i don't care if they look at me like that i am what i am and bloody proud of it. A Vietnam Veteran's child. And I'm bloody proud of my dad 2 out of 2 found this valuable. Do you? |
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9RARBrat |
8. RE: The Question
Nov 10 2008, 5:54 AM EST
no we haven't lost the plot. we just happen to be reading a different play. thats all. Ours is alot more real than most.1 out of 1 found this valuable. Do you? |
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9RARBrat |
9. RE: The Question
Nov 10 2008, 6:00 AM EST
" I realise that, for some, this suggestion may fly in the face of their personal beliefs,whilst i agree that it is a good suggestion. the thing is personal beliefs are the problem. when your told your an idiot for 26 years you kind of don't know what your capable of. my unique skills????? does spotting the mood of every person in a room and then working out the fastest exit in the first five seconds of walking into that room count? Do you find this valuable? |
DoreenP |
10. RE: The Question
Nov 21 2008, 5:49 AM EST
"you get the funny looks too. i thought i was the only oneyep this has happened to me too. it is so aggravating! I am proud of my dad too. Do you find this valuable? |
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Maybellini |
11. RE: The Question
Nov 21 2008, 8:14 AM EST
Mum sometimes talks about how the returned V Veterans were treated when they got home as if I've never encountered that reaction because I wasnt there at the time.Yet 30 something years on, I too get odd reactions if I mention Vietnam being something that had a major impact in our family story. Im happy Dad has turned things around. Glad he is here today. Wrestle with the pride thing given the damage he inflicted. It does annoy me however, that you here talk about the 'diggers' (meaning earlier conflict vets) and you can measure the pride swelling up in peoples chests, yet you talk about Vietnam Vets and its like talking about the little spoken of cousin in jail for a ten year stretch - nothing but uncomfortable shame. I dont agree with war, but I certainly hope the current crop of soldiers get better treatment as they come home and beyond... 2 out of 2 found this valuable. Do you? |
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9RARBrat |
12. RE: The Question
Nov 23 2008, 5:56 AM EST
"It does annoy me however, that you here talk about the 'diggers' (meaning earlier conflict vets) and you can measure the pride swelling up in peoples chests, yet you talk about Vietnam Vets and its like talking about the little spoken of cousin in jail for a ten year stretch - nothing but uncomfortable shame.i'm on my soap box with this one so bear with me. It's all misinformation. but we have an oppurtunity to educate these people. cause you know what there is nothing wrong with being proud of our dads!!!! Autralia needs to remember their veterans. and also the kids that are coming back from the latest conflicts, i don't hear much about them either. they go through just as shitty situations and you don't really hear much about them. Vietnam has to stop being taboo and so do the conflicts that Australia is involved in now. recognition and appreciation. and bugger anyone who thinks otherwise. Do you find this valuable? |
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Combat_Ken |
13. RE: The Question
Nov 23 2008, 9:29 PM EST
I have question too.... it is in direct relation to the original, but, hopefully can bring some clarity...What does it mean to be a child of an Aussie Vietnam Veteran, particulaly if they have PTSD??? Do you find this valuable? |
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Maybellini |
14. RE: The Question
Nov 23 2008, 11:13 PM EST
Haha oh god. That's quite a question. Will have to give that one some thought!
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9RARBrat |
15. RE: The Question
Nov 24 2008, 6:25 AM EST
"What does it mean to be a child of an Aussie Vietnam Veteran, particulaly if they have PTSD???"It means that i have a dad that served his country, and i am proud of him. him having PTSD is a result of that conflict but it should never retract from the fact that he served his country. he was a soldier and he's a good man. i'm proud to be his daughter. he drives me nuts and he can be a complete pain in the arse. he's also the scariest person i know. but i'm his and i will always be his and he has always been proud of me. PTSD does not define my father it is what makes up part of him. it's classes him apart from the rest of the peoples in this world. dad still loves, he still feels and he is a man. My dad is my dad. and nothing can change that. so the question what does it mean to be the child of a vietnam veteran who has PTSD? the answer is this it means whilst my dad is screwed up, and he's a scary bugger, he's my dad. he fought for his country and mine. i'm proud of him. he has survived. 2 out of 2 found this valuable. Do you? |
Kimber15 |
16. RE: The Question
Nov 24 2008, 10:23 PM EST
I wonder if I might interject something here - Why is it that we feel the need to label ourselves? Why can we not see the positives of what in our lives we have experienced. I agree with Ken in the fact that we are way different from the Civilian Culture and I believe that there are ways that we can take our experiences and turn them into something positive. Maybe the stares are from a lack of understanding of what it is like to live our lives, maybe it is a feeling of guilt that they now realise that it was never the Vets fault and the Government covered this all up to make it go away. I can honestly say that I am proud that my Dad was a serving Member of the Defence - Returned Service Man of the Vietnam War - I can also say that some of the experiences in my life have been amazing - what civilian child can say they have taken a dip in the ocean off the back of a Patrol Boat or had such an extended family that you never felt alone. Yes they are scary and can be very negative all the time but at the end of the day this is who we are and this is what it has made us. Let us not dwell on the past and ensure that the future is bright for us and our children because I am not going to dwell on the past I am going to run forward to get the assistance we all need. I ask that you lend your support to Ken's study and also ensure that you are registered for the National Study so that we don't get left behind. Thank you Do you find this valuable? |
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9RARBrat |
17. RE: The Question
Nov 27 2008, 6:32 AM EST
i don't think it's about labelling ourselves. i think it's more like a recognition of our history and why we are unique to the civillian population. as for living in the past. the past is what makes us who we are today. it's important to remember it and learn from it. unfortunately alot of us have memories of our childhoods that haunt us in our adult lives. therefore the past effects the present. Therefore it's important. i don't know about everyone else, but there is some shit in my childhood that to this day screws me over. i'm 26 years old and i don't understand why i am the way i am except that my dad served in Viet Nam he came back and what happened to him has affected me. his past is my past. to understand me i need to understand him and his past. but how do you get your dad to talk? whilst there are alot of positives in my life, and everyone has positives..... theres alot of things that need to be understood to. i support Kens study and i admire what he is doing. cause i believe it will give us answers. answers to why we are the way we are. why we are affected. dads history, is part of me. it's partly my history too. it will help to understand that one so we can understand our next step forward. the past holds the keys to the future. as long as you glean the information to make the next step count..... just a thought. Do you find this valuable? |
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Kimber15 |
18. RE: The Question
Nov 27 2008, 6:22 PM EST
Here is a thought - maybe it is not just the fact that they are Vietnam Veterans - maybe it is the fact that they were in the Defence full stop. There are a great many things I do not understand about my Dad however I have choosen not dwell on it but to accept it as the way my life was and accept him for the fact that he cannot change what and who THEY made him. There is a very good DVD that you can get from the Department and perhaps I can even send you a copy if you would like to see. The DVD is called "You Are NOT in the Forces NOW!" This DVD may lend itself to some clarity for you and perhaps you may even get your Dad to watch and your other family members. It is really important for us as their children to understand that they cannot change the way they are now because it is in their DNA make up - it is in the blood. Please do not think that I in any way want to bring this down - I would just like to us use our experiences for the positive and not dwell on how horrible it was to walk around on egg shells all the time, remember the beltings from such a violent temper etc. It is heartbreaking and believe me there are times that I cry myself to sleep at night wondering how I was born into this family but I choose to go on and use it positive and try not to raise my own children the same way. I want there to be a positive outcome for all this negativity and I want for you all to be able to use it to make our / your lives better. Samara, Let me know if you would like me to send you a copy of the DVD - it is indeed the most unbelievable thing you will ever see!! Do you find this valuable? |
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9RARBrat |
19. RE: The Question
Dec 3 2008, 8:44 AM EST
that would be good. send me an email and i will happily pass on my details. i still however hold on what i said. the past is part of who we are.Do you find this valuable? |
